Conner Dean Kelly
Sweet baby feet

Still a boy- and proud of it!

He was making a peace sign! The Ultrasound Tech was so tickled that she caught this!

This little boy flipped and flopped the entire time!

Conner waving again! (in a different position!)

Sorry! I know that you all were wanting to know about how my appointment went yesterday. Sadly, I don't really have much to report! There were no Dr's in the Maternal Fetal Group office yesterday, and they said they had faxed all my results to my Dr in town. (Which stinks- b/c they never tell me anything- I may have to be ugly at my next appt).

Had an ultrasound- It's still a boy! Let me tell you, the ultrasound tech had a very difficult time with him- he was everywhere! He is very active!!! She had to do baseling dopplers, which is checking to blood flow. Of course, she can't tell me if they were good or not, but, she said, judging by his growth, they were probably good. But, everytime she would get to where she needed to do the doppler, he would stick an arm, or leg and mess it up! In the end, she was like, I'm taking what I can get with this little boy! It was making me laugh- he is gonna be my wild child! (and hopefully my big child!) His estimated weight is 1 lb 1 oz- and I'm 22 weeks. (reminder: Tatum was 1 lb 7 oz, JD 1 lb 12 oz both at 28 weeks). Conner's growth was right on target!!!

Sooooo, for now- until Feb 10th, I'm taking lovenox shots in my belly every night. For, now, I'm taking these shots because I know that somethings going on with me, but still don't know what. It's a little frustrating- I would like to know what I'm up against! It took me about 10 minutes to give myself the shot! I would get close, then I would tell Jeremy I couldn't do it- for him to do it. Then, I couldn't let him do it. I finally did it, and it wasn't that bad. Kinda burned, but, not awful!

Just please continue praying for us. Pray that this bedrest and daily shot is gonna be the answer that we have prayed for. I pray that this is different from the rest. I feel I deserve something good ( I know thats selfish, but, it's honest).

Hold on

Sorry! I know that you are all waiting on an update from my appt in Nashville today. Sorry- I will hopefully get to it tomorrow. I want to get my Ultrasound pics of Conner loaded in first! Soooo, to be continued!

exciting (bittersweet) news

So, I wanted to blog this allllllllll day yesterday, but, was (trying) to wait until Friday when I go to the Dr and know more information. But I am absolutely bursting with hope and excitedment! To me- I am so thankful! To others, it may bring worry for me.

Let me explain........Tuesday, around 1:30, my cell phone rings. I just almost didn't answer it b/c I didnt' recognize the number. All of the sudden it dawned on me- It was the Maternal Fetal Group. I instantly went to- why are they calling me??? It was Debbie, who I always deal with, who has been there with all my kids and is such a sweet person. Well, she proceeds to say that she knows I have an appointment on Friday, but, that my bloodwork that they had done had come back abnormal. The doctors really believe that these abnormalities were what caused me to have complications with Tatum and JD. They are gonna give me a presciption and teach me how to give myself injections of Lovenox on Friday when I come. She just wanted to prepare me. I could hardly even talk to her I was crying so hard. I told her I was sorry, but that I was so relieved. She said this shot will help me.

Here is why it's bittersweet (not to me- I'm relieved). I don't know what the abnormalities are yet- I will find out more on Friday. But, whatever is wrong means that my premature births can hopefully be prevented. As a mother, you are willing to take whatever you have to for your children. I know it sounds horrible, but if it keeps me and Conner out of the NICU, I will gladly have something be wrong with me. But, it does mean that something is wrong with me and who knows what that will mean in the future. But, I'm willing to do whatever I need to do for my kids, my family. They are my everything.

emotional moments

I will be quite honest. I have been an emotional roller coaster the last few days. It doesn't help that I'm on complete bedrest and having to depend on other people to do things for me and my children. And then, there's all the things in life that seem to be going wrong.

My Grandfather is still hanging on. He has, however, accepted that he will be dying soon- and he's ready. He's ready to be with my maw maw again- the love of his life. He has morned her since she died almost 11 years ago.

Mammy's surgery was a huge success. She is, however, throwing up everything she eats, and they have noticed some blood in it. She is having some tests today to see if they can figure it out.

And then, there's baby Drayke. He was born April 28th at Centennial. I met his parents and talked to them several times while JD was still there. Well, he had lots of heart and lung problems and was eventually sent to Vanderbilt. Well, precious Drayke had quite a roller coaster ride. With many ups and downs, more downs than ups, I'm afraid. (I kept up with this families blog the entire time). Well, last week, Drayke got a trach and they were finally thinking that they may actually get to go home! Towards the end of the week, Drayke began getting sick. They discovered he had the flu, NEC, and his heart and lungs were failing. And Ultrasound and several tests Monday showed his heart wasn't working. The Drs. told the family there was no way he could recover from this.......... They made the decision to take Drayke off of life support. He became a precious angel at 8:55 pm Monday night. He would have been 9 months old Wed.

To say, that I cried over this would be an understatement. I blubbered over this for close to 2 hours. For one, it's hard to keep my mind focused and hopeful- I knew this family. He was in the hospital with JD. WE have been so blessed!

But, mostly- my heart was breaking for this family. They have been through so much. They were so strong and optimistic. And to have a glimmer of hope, just to lose your baby less than a week later hurts me to my core. I can't imagine having to give my child to God. Please pray for Draykes family in the coming days- I know this is gonna be so hard for all of them. And all the people that Drayke affected in his short time on this earth.

cute things!

I am just laying here, as usual, and I was thinking about random things. When one of Tatum's many funny sayings come to mind. For some reason, she is scared of deer. She knows that they are around our house and back behind where we live. She is constantly saying, when people leave- "watch out for deer, they may hit you!" It is the cutest and most sincere thing in the world. She does say though, that if you do hit it, you can take it to Uncle Mike and he will peel it for you! Absolutely hilarious!!!!

Crazy, rough day

So, today has been a crazy day. Of course, it started out the same for me- get out of bed, brush, use the bathroom, grab the glasses and a pillow and move to the couch. JD has his monthly early intervention with Gina, and he prepared to wow her with his smooth moves! Then, Jeremy took Tatum and JD to the Dr's office- it was time for JD's monthly synagis (RSV)shot. While there, he also had Dr. Savage check both of their ears; Tatum still says hers hurts (likely for attention) and JD isn't sleeping at night. He is getting up on average of 3 times a night. Thankfully, both of their ears were fine. Well, while Jeremy was at the Dr was when things got worse.

Jeremy's aunt texted him that Mammy (his grandmother) was being going to emergency after a colonoscopy. She had a polyp that had ruptured and was leaking infection into her body. Jeremy is very close to mammy and she is a strong point for most of her family. I knew Jeremy wanted/needed to go, but, as I'm on bedrest, he needed to stay with me and our kids. Well, My best friend and sister came to our rescue. Erin took JD with her to her mommas in Athens. I'm quite sure they loved every minute of this! And my sis said she would take Tatum ( I was gonna keep Tatum, but, she wanted to come and get her). When Dana came to get Tay, I decided I didn't want to stay home by myself, so I road about 5 houses down and layed on Dana's couch all day! Mammy came out of surgery well! She is gonna be in the ICU at least until Sunday. They say she seems to be in good spirits. However,her being down and in the hospital means that Jeremy's uncle, Tim, is likely going into the nursing home. That is gonna be hard on alot of people.
My Paw Paw has been in the Nursing home for over a year. He has over the last few months and the last few weeks have been even worse. He was put into the hospital shortly after the first of the year. He has since been diagnosed with end stage Alzheimers. He also has COPD which makes it hard to breathe. Over the last week, he hardly knows any of us, he refuses to eat or drink and is in horrible amounts of pain. It is a horrible thing to watch. He is my last living grandparent...

(Not to make a pity party for me- as I'm not what this is about)- but this is very hard on me right now. I want so badly to go and sit with my dying grandfather, even though he won't know I'm there. To assure him that it's ok.... I want to go and visit mammy and let her know how much we love and need her. But, I'm on bedrest, and can't! I feel so guilty- laying around and not caring for the people that I love.

Please pray for My paw paw- Robert Taylor and mammy- Geraldine Kelly.

I want your blood

I went to the Maternal Fetal Group today to have some detailed blood work done. I get there and roll up my sleeves and prepare. They took 10 large tubes of blood; Jeremy calculated it at about 1/2 a pint of blood. She would have taken 1 more tube of blood, but, my vein ws sputtering out- it was going dry!

Now, I have to anxiously awate the results. If this blood work were to show that I have some sort of problem with me blood, then, it could not only affect the treatment of me in pregnancy, but, also(hopefully) help to keep me pregnant longer. Deep down, I kinda hope that it shows something wrong with me. I would rather have something be wrong with me than to put another baby through what Ive already put two babies through. Not to mention what I have put so many friends and family through.

I pray daily that this baby will be different- maybe I will do everything right and will have a full term pregnancy- at least close to full term.

5 day Forcast (I mean update!)

These pictures are from Wed- through Sunday. However, somehow, they popped up backwards. First- we attempted to feed JD some stage 3 spaghetti. I don't really think he enjoyed those noodles! He made to awfulest faces and spit the noodles out! It was really cute. He made some crazy faces- this was just one of them!

I took Tatum to get her first hair cut. (This was the day before my bedrest started). She did such a great job sitting there! She didn't need much cut, her hair still wasn't that long. But, it was fuzzy with baby hair. I wanted to cry, preparing to get her hair cut- I know, I'm such a sap! She's my little girl!

Then, along with my post about my awesome Husband, Tatum and Jeremy painted my toenails for me the other night. Tatum was so proud of herself. Mostly, she painted my entire toe, but, it made her feel so important to be doing something for mommy. She is continuously asking me if I can get up now. She is spennding lots of time with me- either on the couch or in the bed. She is such a sweet little girl!

Other than that, not a lot is going on. Spending my days on the couch or in the bed. After 5 days, I'm already completely bored! I said I would have never thought that laying around would make you feel so bad! OH WELL, I'm willing to do/try anything to carry Conner farther than Tatum and JD.

Hope everyone has a good week!

This is my family! I cannot begin to tell you how much I love them and what they mean to me! I need to also tell you how much I love and appreciate my husband- Jeremy! He is waiting on me hand and foot and not complaining. JD has been getting up about 3 times a night, and he gets up with him and doesn't say a word. I apologize everytime he has to get up and everytime he fixes me something to eat or drink. He just tells me not to worry about it- that I am doing an important job- taking care of Conner. I could never ask for a better man than Jeremy. I am one lucky girl! Thank you Jeremy!

Day 1

Well, today, Jan 15th, 2009 marks my first day of complete bedrest. So, far, not too bad. Not too sure Tatum quite gets it yet... I did trasnfer from the bed to the couch, where I have been planted since 8:30, except when I got up to go to the bathroom. This is definetly gonna be an adjustment though....... I had Jeremy fix me a PB and J and that is what I had for breakfast. I had Tatum bring it to me ( I really had to have to ask the people coming here to stay to get me things to eat and drink) Although, I know that all the ones that are coming here are more than happy to help me with this. So, right now, cartoons are wearing on me and I feel like a nap- but, don't want to lay down yet!

Yesterday/last night was a great day! I took Tay to get her first haircut- will post pics later! She did good- didn't cut much, just a trim. Then, me, Tay, my sis, and Ashley, a friend of mine from work went to Nashville. WE went to eat at the Spaghetti Factory and then went to the wizard of Oz at TPAC- it was a great night! It was nice to spend my last night out with Tatum, who will likely be the most affected by me being on bedrest.



As for the picture- I just love my Tattoo and posted it as my pic-

Conner Dean Kelly (and some stuff about the other 2)!

So, I went to Maternal Fetal Group Thursday for my Ultrasound- I was 19 weeks that day. They scanned us and assured us (we already knew) that it was a boy- it was obvious to Jeremy and me both! Tatum went with is and absolutley loved watching Conner on the screen- although she did remind us that she really wanted a sister, not another brother. They said that everything looked good- and went over what the Dr had planned for me: Here's a quick rundown (of what I can remember, because it was alot!)
~ Bedrest @ 20 weeks- whick begins Jan 15th- Next Thursday!
~ another ultrasound with baseline dopplers @ 23 weeks, then again at 26 weeks.
~Weekly visits to Mat/Fet beginning @ 26 weeks to document growth and blood flow.
~ Continue med: baby aspirin, calcium, blood pressure (most important ones)
(this one, they called me with Friday)
~ Specialized blood work (thrombophilia panel) ASAP to check for any blood abnormalities. (gotta call them Monday about this one- our hospital isn't able to do this- they need a specialized kit for it- so, I'm doubtful that Dr. Gist's office will be able to do this either.)
~ PIH panel bloodwork @ 23 weeks

Even though I'm gonna be on bedrest, I'm gonna be busy! Ya know, this sounds bad, but, I kinda hope that they find something wrong with my blood so that maybe they can treat it and find the cause. I would much rather something be wrong with me than to deal with the past again. Ok- I think that's it! Or what I can remember!




Tatum: Not much to say about her! She is still as crazy and absolutely precious as always! She is loved by so many people! She is finally (I think) over all her sickness! She was in some dear friend of ours wedding in December- and these pics were from that!

JD: I guess someone told him that a new baby was coming because he is fastly trying to grow up! Over the past week, he has finally started crawling correctly, well, some of the time. He has been crawling for a while, but PT says he is doing it wrong. ( Truthfully, I don't care if he's doing it right or wrong- but, whatever!) Well, he is now pulling up on everything and everybody that he can! He has even started trying to cruise the furtniture! The only problem is his temper- he falls over and gets soo frustrated he has an allout tantrum! He is only 10 months old and doing all of these things! (corrected age- he's only 7 months old- I am such a proud preemie mommy!)

Jeremy: Can't leave him out. Well, nothing to report! He's as great as ever- especially because he has to put up with me! And the next few weeks of bedrest are gonna be a challenge for him too!

Not computer smart

OK- so I'm really slacking in the computer skills department. I made multiple attempts to get my slideshow centered- but, I can't get it to work!!!!!

Maybe my hubby can help me when he gets home. I will repost it when I get it fixed!

Make photo slide shows at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Here is a little montage that I made of my baby boys NICU Journey. I'm can remember every one of these pictures and what kind of day ot was for him- and for us. In the beginning, JD was amazing and was disprooving that 'wussy white boy' theory. He decided to hang with the popular kids and follow the trend at around 2 weeks- that is when our troubles began. Not gonna tell the whole story- what matters the most is that he is fine now! He has one heck of a temper and is very independant- we call it the Kelly temper!

Some people say that I dwell on my kids births and their experiences- and you know what- I probably do. BUT, they have been life changing for not only me but lots of people. They have helped make me who I am.

I hope you enjoy JD's Journey!

Update

SO, I took JD to the Dr this morning due to our recent diagnosis of RSV. Much to everyones suprise- I am way more worried about this than the Dr. Truthfully, JD probably only coughed like 2 times today and I don't think I even had to wipe his nose once. I am actually coughing and sniffling the worst of anyone! (all this stress is taking it's toll on me). Dr. Savage, who I love and trust WHOLE HEARTEDLY said that you have to treat the patient NOT the lab results- and He looks and acts fine!

(again- I know that he seems fine- I just wish I didn't know he had RSV, but, then if I didn't know I would worry about that to!) If you don't know me very well- or know me somewhat- you will soon learn (if you don't already know) that I worry- ALOT!!

So for now- My precious baby boy is doing good- I am just hopeful that last week when he was sick was the worst of it and we are on the tail end of this sickness for him and not in the beginning (which is a possiblity also).

thank you Mollie for your comment on the previous post- as a mommy, you want to take the blame for everything- and by golly! I AM A GOOD MOMMY!! JD has always been my problem child- he wants to do all the sicky things that Tatum didn't. Thanks for reminding me that I didn't do anything wrong!

UGHHHHHHH

Whatever it is I'm doing- I'm apparently not doing something right!

I am writing this while everyone is asleep and I will very soon be there too! (and My momma is coming in the am so that I can sleep in- we'll see about that-Tay and JD have diffferent opinions on me sleeping in)

Anyways... I digress... (really good at that...see...) Right before christmas,Tatum had an asthma flair and was eventually diagnosed with bronciolitis and an ear infection in the left ear.(that Diagnosis came on Mon. 12/29). By Tuesday, I had a slight cough, nothing major,didn't feel bad at all. By Tuesday Night, JD was running slight fever,coughing, runny nose. Jeremy took him to the Dr. Wed morning. By Thursday night,Tatum was complaining that her other ear was hurting and Jeremy and I were both really sick. Friday morning, all4 of us piled up into the Dr's office- JD seemed better-ears looked better;Jeremy and I both had sinusitis and were put on antibiotics;Tatum had gotten a bad infection in the opposite ear while she had been on antibiotics. We are one sad, grumpy household,to say the least.

Fast forward to Sunday ( I know, a whole 2 days,but,whatever). Tatum is have diarrhea about every hour due to this antibiotic she's on- bless her heart! She is potty trained and she cannot control these episodes. She will cough or sneeze and say "mommy, I pooped a litle in my panties- I'm sorry!" It breaks my heart! She absolutely can't help it. Well, I had to work Sunday evening. I had Jeremy run JD by the hospital so that I could do an RSV swab on him- I had a bad dream the other night that he had RSV and he doesn't seem to be getting better. Well,we get the results and he does! AS a preemie momma, it has been instilled in my brain that this is one thing to be feared- RSV can be fatal in a preemie baby. I brought him back to the hospital, to check his oxygen (and to decide what needed to be done from there). His oxygen was good, so I brought him home to talk to his DR tomorrow. I was in tears and the Dr that was in the ER was like- RSV isn't that bad, just watch him- I'm sure he will be fine. I was irate! He has no idea what we have been through- this is not something that I can just watch and do nothing about! He basically just told my I was paranoid and Not to worry. I amm still fuming....

Anyways- how does a baby who doesn't go ANYWHERE; we have well child check ups and never wait in the waiting room, we didn't even go to Christmas functions were there were many people at them, I change my clothes and scrub when I get home from work, AND we get that ridiculously expensive, takes God calling the insurance company himself, RSV shots once a month to prevent RSV??? How did he get RSV??? This has made me beyond sick! And if you know me- and how paranoid I am- just wait, it's gonna get a lot worse now.

Gosh- I really just can't believe this! Plus, I haven't seen my sister or Landon in over a week- I cannot risk giving that sweetie anything!