A little bit of Christmas!

This is just a little bit of our 2009 Christmas!!! Thankfully, aside from snotty noses (which is the norm for our kiddos)- everyone was over the horrible stomach bug! We had such a wonderful Christmas complete with the kids getting even more spoiled! It is so wonderful to know that we are all loved by so many people. I think God just has ways of putting people and things in place when he knows you need them the most.

This was probably the best family photo we got this year- it's hard to get 3 little ones to look in the same direction AND smile at the same time! This pic was snapped in between Conner Dean crying! I am a little sad to know this is my last-first Christmas! no more babies!!!!!

I hope this New year is wonderful.......

My Sweet JD

I love this little boy! He is a total sweet heart and is a comedian!!! He has a precious giggle and does some unbelieveable cute things.......

So, to all the rude people out there...... There is nothing wrong with my baby! Yes- he's small. Yes- he has a BIRTH MARK (hemangioma) on his nose, but,that doesn't mean something happened to him. And NO- he isn't talking yet. ( I understand he's almost 2 and you are amazed that he doesn't talk).


But, ya know what..... he almost died. He was a tiny 1 pound 12 oz baby that contracted several serious infections.... one of which kills 90% of babies that get it- and he survived! And regardless of how hard it if for me to deal with his speech delay- I am just beyond blessed that he's still in our lives. I would NEVER ask a parent what was wrong with their kids face- why are people so rude???


OK- soap box.... I'm getting off now!

Like it's your last day....

Last week, I had a dream that shook me to my core- brought me to my knees in fear! I dreamed that this sweet little girl was gone... No longer in my life. This dream was so vivid and real- I was hysterically sobbing and was almost unable to control my emotions when I woke up and realized that this precious girl was snuggled beside me in the bed. I can not imagine my life without Tay in it- the joy she brings to me and others.... She is so loved by so many people. I am so lucky to be her mommy. I have dealt with the idea and possiblity of losing her before... but, that was 4 years ago when I didn't know how much I could truly love this precious little love.....I have been so nervous the past week to let her out of my sight- afraid it may be the last time that I hug or kiss her.... I make she she knows I love her "higher than the highest kite ever flown, deeper than the deepest fish ever swam... I love you more, so much more than you're ever known."

And I hope they do.... all know that I love them more than they could ever know.... I cannot imagine my life without my babies!

(Just an FYI- I would be equally lost if I lost JD or Conner, but, she was the one in the dream...) (I am all teary as I write this even.... someone told me to write it down, that it would help take it off my mind.... that's what I'm trying)

A day in the leaves

Conner in the leaves! (not crying right now)
Sweet JD

My Precious Family

Sassy Jane

My little loves

Last week, we went to my Sis-in-Laws and played in her leaves. I had wonderful photo ideas in my head and thought I could get some beautiful shots of my kids. My kids, on the other hand, obviously didn't get the memo. They didn't really even want to play in them much. (Well- JD was ok to be face first in them, but, that's not a pretty shot)! Every time you sat Conner in them, he started crying and Tay was getting dirty- such a girl! I got a few shots though. And a pretty good family photo- minus my cleavage (sorry!)

Kelly Pumpkin Patch

In trying to decide what to do for Halloween that would include the entire family and not require alot of cost, we decided the kids would be pumpins. JD's costume was Tatum's and I got Conner's on e-bay. It took quite a bit of convincing for Tatum to be on board with the whole pumpkin theme- so I made her a lovely tutu and she was the pumpkin princess! Jeremy and I were the pumpkin patch farmers- Don't we grow lovely pumpkins??

moms are NOT superheroes

Momma's do not have time to get sick!!! But... here I am! As I am typing this, I was suppossed to be on my way to Chattanooga for continuing education (which, I was highly looking forward to.) Tay's first Halloween party is this week, along with Halloween- which is Conner's first Halloween.


Let's rewind back to Monday... wake up fine- get Tay to school. Come home and the boys lay down to take a nap and I take advantage of the situation and nap too. Wake up around 10:30 shivering.... finally make it out of the bed- temp of 99.3- which is pretty big for me as my norm is 96-97. By 11:30- temp is over 100 and I am almost in tears from the pain... call Jeremy to come home. By 1:40 when I get to the dr, temp of 102.6. Diagnosis: (I'm sure you have guessed it) h1n1 flu! Dr.S said there is nothing else that can come on a person so hard and so fast.


That brings me to today..... still running a fever and I am quarantined at my momma's. Jeremy is taking care of the kids and being the momma and the daddy. Which is killing him because the kids are missing their mommy. He said it's so hard to convince them that it's ok that I'm not there when he is missing me terribly too! I want to go home so bad I can't stand it! According to the CDC, I can go back to civilization when I have been 24 hours fever free. I am sooo hoping that my fever will break and stay gone- soon!!!!! I do not want to miss Halloween! And, I'm sure that Jeremy isn't gonna want to do the whole Halloween thing with 3 kids by himself!


Pray- HARD- for us!!!!!!

new endeavors

I am embarking on a new journey.... I have always loved pictures and taking them and have just kinda "played" with them. I am starting to get serious! This was my first photo shoot with Jeremy's family. These are some of my favorite pictures from that day.

Kinda funny....as my profession, I take pictures of peoples insides...now, I'm gonna take pics of their outsides too!

The rest of my faves/touched up pic are on my facebook!

a (semi) quiet moment

I am waaaaayyy behind on blogging! Sorry- but, 3 little ones are pretty demanding! I'm taking a moment to catch up- 1 asleep- 2 fighting sleep- but, no one screaming or really needing me at the moment- we will see how long it lasts!!!!

I was sitting here- rocking Conner and he was having a heart to heart with me- he "talked" for probably 5 minutes- there is no proof because every time I pressed record on my phone- he stopped- when I hit stop- he would start up again.

As we were chatting- I was thinking that this is the most wonderful thing in the world- snuggles with your sweet baby. I guess I God allowed me that quiet moment with Conner to remind me that I do love being a mommy. Just minutes earlier- I was truly about to lose my mind- naptime wasn't an option for the others. (Conner is again talking to himself to keep himself awake- oh well.. he isn't crying...yet!) This mommy of 3 little ones is tough stuff.

Don't get me wrong.... I LOVE being a mommy. But, it is hard! Seems like someone is always needing something. And sometimes I feel like I just can't give them all 100 % without short changing someone. Or without losing my patience and mind... I'm sure the sleep deprivation is playing a large role in the mental breakdowns.

Sometimes....all you need is a rocking chair and some snuggles to bring your mind back to what you love the most.

soul friends...

Happy (early) birthday Miracle babies
Tatum and Leighton

CRAZY!

Laura and Lorrie- Love her!

Love these two

This past week, me, my mom, and the kiddos took a road trip to visit our NICU buddies that leave near Knoxville. Leighton and Tatum were born a few days apart- his b-day is the 22nd and Tay's is the 25th. We always try to get together around their birthdays to celebrate. They were in the NICU together and we definitely formed a lifelong bond. They are some of the best people that I know and will always have a huge place in my heart.

Hard to believe that our tiny miracle babies are gonna be 4 this year! Thank God for tiny blessings!

Tatum's first day of Pre-K

Here are just a few pictures of Tay that I took on my moms camera.

Today was Tatum's first day of Pre K. We were there less than an hour and I think it's really more for the parents, but, first day none the less! She played and played with the other kids. She made new friends- but, she didn't know "thems names." She goes on the 13th for her phase in day and then starts going all day on the 18th. I did pretty well today- I'm sure I will be all emotional on the first day that I have to leave her. I have no doubt that she will be fine *tear* without me. She wanted me to just leave her today!

Ahhh... they grow up so fast!

My baby is walking

Let me tell you- I am one proud momma! *tear* JD has been taking a few steps here and there for a few weeks, but,as of today, I would defintely say I have a walker on my hands!!!! After I got him up and fed him, we were sitting in the floor playing. He stood up and walked halfway across the room and lunged into my arms and hugged me. He hasn't stopped walking since then! He is still extremely cautious with his steps and he is still falling/stumbling alot. BUT, he gets back up and starts going again. I think he is as proud of himself as I am.

One reason I am so proud is not only just because he's walking. But, he was preemie. He has beat so many odds set against him. He has done so many things he never should have been able to do- including live....(great... emotional mommy here...) At first, he excelled in meeting his milestones and never was really far behind. Then, he just kinda stopped. He stopped trying to walk and stopped talking. Who knows the reason- I pray it's just a preemie thing and nothing more serious, but, who knows. We are working on language and he is trying so hard- you can tell! But, most words sound like grunts or screams. Our TEIS is going to get us a audiology consult. But now.....

We are walking!!!!! And I am so proud of my sweet Joel David (JD)!!! Love this precious boy!

I think it's kinda ironic....

So.... As most of you all know by now, I am a paranoid and sometimes crazy person! This week, I took Tatum and Conner to the Dr for different reasons, and Conner also needed a weight check. This is how it all went....

Tatum: I took Tay because she had been complaining of her stomach hurting for about 2 weeks. If you remember, she is still battling reflux. We have been on meds for about a year and if we stray from those, it is a very bad and very messy situation! Well, in addition to the stomach aches, she has had runny poop (sorry if TMI- but relevant) and had even vomitted (thank you red dye drink that was drank while mommy and daddy weren't around). SOOOOO- the Dr proceeds to tell me that the meds she had been on for her reflux can sometimes cause loose stools and abdominal cramping (which would also be referred to as runny poop and stomach aches) ARGH! If I had known that, I wouldn't have been so paranoid about the constant complaints! Solution: take her off her meds (plug in crazy look from me here) and see if she still needs them. We will see.... WE are 4 days puke free, but, she is starting to have that refluxy cough and she is gagging alot. UGH, big kid puke is NO fun!


Conner: I took him because he had been hoarse for about 4 days. Wanted to be sure nothing was wrong with him. Well, Dr. S thinks he is probably having some baby reflux, totally normal, especially given the amounts he is eating. Here is what is ironic with him- makes me giggle! I have to take him back again this week for another weight check- know why? Because he gained 1 pound in 6 days- he is getting TOO BIG! I have 2 kids that are too small and now one that is too big!


Laura (ME): My middle finger on my Rt hand had been hurting (well, more like I wanted to cut it off it hurt so bad) and was a pussed up and swollen. I had "doctored" it myself without much success. Jeremy was convinced my finger was gonna rot off- thanks honey for the vote of confidence! Anyways... when I took Tay and JD, I thought, I'll let him look at it and see what he thinks. (our kids Dr is also our Dr) Well, he looks at it, shakes his head and says oh my- that's bad (or something along those lines). Well, apparently, I have some sort of bacterial infection in my finger (really big word that I don't remember). And infection so bad that I had to take a really stong oral antibiotic to treat. Are you ready for the irony here?? The cause of me getting this infection was likely from washing my hands so much! I apparently had a hangnail, and from washing hands or bottles or whatever, got water under my nail from the torn hangnail which just kinda sat there with no where to go and got all bacteria like. I will just have to watch because I don't see how I can cut my handwashing down with all the diapers I change and booties I wipe!


Almost makes you want to laugh, huh?

3 weeks old

Conner is 3 weeks old today! Wow- time is going by quickly! (as I'm sure the next 3 weeks will fly by too since I will be going back to work).

I am still adjusting to being a mommy of 3- 3 LITTLE ONES! 2 in diapers and 1 sassy girl who thinks she's the queen! I must say, it is kinda hard at times, especially since I was on bedrest for almost 18 weeks and wasn't even able to take care of my 2, then I have 3! It seems that everyone needs to eat at the same time, is crying at the same time- and I swear- they all even POOP at the same time!

But, with all the adjustments and some tears (mine and the kids)- I am loving every minute of this! I am loving being a mommy of 3- and while I wouldn't have planned a 3rd baby- I thank God everyday for sending me a 3rd miracle.

I cannot think of anything better in my life than being a mommy!

Oh yeah- JD is starting to walk! He will take about 5 or 6 steps- look at you and laugh and plop himself down and crawl to where he was headed! He can do it though- he is just being stubborn!

Conner Dean Kelly

I am so sorry that I haven't updated my blog in 2 weeks! But, life in the Kelly house is CRAZY! But absolutely wonderful!

As you may remember from my last blog, I had started getting sick again. When I went back to the hospital that night, it was decided that I was likely spiraling into HELLP syndrome again (this is what caused Tatum and JD to be born early). Unfortunately, my bloodwork (mainly the blood clotting ones), wasn't any better and I was unable to be awake during the C-section. Aside from missing Conner's first cries and actually being able to have him brought to me for a visit, it was probably for the best. I was absolutely freaking out- pretty much having a panic attack! In hindsight, I'm kinda embarrasssed (especially since I work with these people), but, I couldn't control the way I was acting! I did feel guilty because Jeremy wasn't able to be in the room, but, the did let him sit outside the door. And, one of the nurses in the OR was a friend of mine and took pictures during and after the surgery.

Conner Dean Kelly was born on May 18th, 2009 @ 6:58 pm. He weighed 6 lbs 0.4 oz and was 19 5/8 inches. He had a head full of Dark Hair! He looked absolutely NOTHING like Tatum or JD!!!!

I spent (well, what is told to me) a long time in surgery. I had lots of scar tissue and and they tied my tubes(yes- this will be the last beautiful Kelly baby!) When I returned to my room, they wheeled me by the nursery to sneak a peek at my baby- I was in love (but, so drugged that I don't think I showed much emotion). After what seemed like forever to me- they brought Conner into my room- it was one of the most wonderful moments of my life- there is nothing like having your baby brought to you- no wires, tubes- NOTHING! Just a precious newborn baby! We were later told by one of the nurses that we were stingy with our baby- never letting the nurses keep him for us! I am stingy! I never had the normal "rooming in with baby" expierience- I wanted him with me ever minute- I wanted to be a normal mommy with a normal baby-

AND BY GOLLY- I HAD WORKED HARD FOR THIS!!!

We are adjusting well- Jeremy and I are having to read the What to expect the first year book because we don't know anything about babies like Conner! I have even called twice already to ask a question about him! We are nervvous first time parents even though we are on our 3rd child! Even the first night, we asked the nurses if we could put clothes on him- and we were saving the diapers for them to weigh! They laughed at us!

(and to those of you reading this who don't have preemies, you will probably think I'm crazy too- but, to all my preemie momma fans- you totally understand!)

There are probably many more details that I should add in this blog, but, due to time- this is all I can do. Having Conner is such a wonderful think- I struggled with it, but, God knew my heart and gave me this child for a reason. He has completed our family-we are beyond blessed to have him here- but, also beyond thankful for it to be OVER!

God answered our prayers and gave us a full term baby!

Hospital visit #2

Well, this is just a quicky! I went back to the hospital this morning becasue I am still feeling awful and just didn't think things were right......... Urine (which visibly looked horrible) and bloodwork were done, Conner looked great on the monitor.

Here's the deal.... They let me come home.... to get my stuff together to come back at 4. My platelets had dropped alot and are pretty sure I have a kidney infection/hydronephrosis/kidney stone/ who knows- junk in my kidneys....

Problem is: My platelets dropping is a huge red flag that something is going on. Could be the first sign that HELLP is repeating. The plan is that Conner will be born tonight or tomorrow. But, I am on blood thinners and as of now, my blood isn't clotting well enough for me to be awake during Conner's birth. I go back at 4 to have all my blood rechecked- and hopefully it will be good enough to stay awake during the surgery. I would hate to miss the cries I have missed with my other two..... So, we are gonna have a baby soon!!!!!

Hospital visit

So, as some of you may or may not know, I took a little trip to the hospital Friday night. I had gotten up from my nap around 2 ish- not feeling just great, but, thinking that it was just the pizza that I had eaten immediately before laying down. I am hurting in my upper abdomen, which always gives me cause for concern, but, I'm trying to rationalize it out and not freak myself or anyone else out. So, the afternoon goes on and I get to feeling worse and worse. The pain is becoming horrible and I am getting nauseus. Then it dawns on me- THIS IS HOW I WAS FEELING WHEN I GOT SICK WITH JD.... Ok- so now, I'm really freaking out. When Jeremy get Is home from town,I'm sitting on the couch crying. (OK- let me make a side note here- part of why I'm crying is because it is Friday night now- about 8 ish- Tatum's FIRST dance recital is Saturday @ 1 and I want to be there!) Well, we decide that I do need to go to the hospital to get checked out. I first take a shower, because I have been down this road before and I do not want to get stuck in the bed without taking a shower first. Of course they were waiting on me because I had called. They were all thinking- Oh crap! Laura's coming with abdomen pain- we are having a baby soon.... (Feel the need for another side note for those who don't know all my baby history- my first sign that my body was getting sick with Tatum and JD's pregnancy was upper abdomen pain- which is what I was having Friday- not a good sign for me or anyone who knows me). Well, I get down to OB- tell the nurse that I need to pee, to bring me a cup (you know they always want a preggo girls pee) and I'm gonna need some labs- (OF course, they already knew all of this, I was just trying to speed things up). They get all that going....

Well, they get me hooked up to the monitor and Conner's heart rate is way high- which was causing more alarm than my belly pains... They start an IV on me and start pumping me full of fluids. Conner's heart rate finally calmed down, they actually think he was Tachy because his momma was in pain.... Please son, don't share my pain! Well, my labs came back GREAT! So, for now they just wanted to watch me, keep me on the monitor and make sure my blood pressure didn't decide to shoot way up. Jeremy and I told them we wanted my labs re-drawn 6 hours after the first ones- due to history. (With JD they were normal the first time and 6 hours later I was headed to Nashville in the back of an ambulance... so I knew the difference a few hours could make.) Well, the Dr didn't really want to, said my first ones were too good for me to just rest there and go home later that am. (it's about 2 am at this point). I told him if he wasn't going to do anything else and he thought I was fine, then to just send me home and sleep in my bed.... about 15 minutes later the nurse came in to tell me that lab would be there in a little bit to repeat my labs- I WON!!!! Well, after NO sleep, I finally ask the nurse about 6:30 if my labs were back. Everything was still good except my platlets had dropped. HMMMM, that is one of the signs of HELLP syndrome. However, with me getting so much fluids and NOTHING else had changed, it was likely that they had diluted. So, I went home and got to go to Tay's recital. Got home from the recital and went straight to bed!

So, here's whats going on now...... I am still hurting (they really weren't sure what was causing my pain) I'm not hurting nearly as bad as I was Friday night, but, none the less hurting. It is my upper abdomen and it hurts the worst when I breathe. I'm gonna callt he Dr in the morning and let him know that I still feel this way. At the least he can repeat my labs to at least put my mind at ease... I only have 10 days left til my scheduled c-section, but, we may not make it that far...... I'm ready now though. I wasn't Friday night- I was terrified and couldn't stop crying.... But, I do NOT want to cause any stress on my body that would cause something to happen to Conner.

I'm full term!

My sister did these pictures of me- she would have probably done TONS more, but, after about, um, 4- her camera battery died! We will probably have another "session" soon before Conner comes. Try to get some wiith JD in them. Tatum wanted her picture made with Conner! I think these turned out pretty well- My attire is my bridesmaid dress from Dana's wedding as the skirt- turned the straps in and (obviously) didn't zip it up! My "top" is the scarf that went with the dress! I think it turned out pretty well.....

On to my weekly Maternal Fetal Group appt.... I was so excited to go this week as we were getting an estimated weight for Conner. They estimated Conner as being 5 lbs 14 oz!!!! WOW!!!! He is actually a little small for a 37 weeker, but no where near enough to be concerned about, especially considering there are some full term babies born that size. The Drs in Nashville told us a long time ago that they don't think I could produce big babies- regardless of my history or how wonderful I was doing. But, a baby that is almost 6 lbs is like a whopper baby to us!!!!!!!

So, with us already being sooooo excited over Conner's weight, the Dr came into talk to us. She told us such wonderful things! One being that the blood flows, while are still abnormal, look good. That Conner was doing great and that I was doing great. They were extremely pleased and proud of how well I have done. The Dr also lifted my bedrest restrictions. She didn't take me off- but, I can get up and do a few things as long as my blood pressures are doing good. She doesn't want me taking care of my kids by myself, especially since I've been on bedrest so long and have lost so much strength. But, she also said that at this point, they would just deliver me and things would be fine! I still don't want to risk anything........I'm still doing alot of laying around- try to do a few things and either my blood pressure starts acting up or I am exhausted from just a minute of being up! We are on the count down now...... 14 days from today!

A few little tid bits from our appt yesterday: The ultrasound tech says that Conner is LONG- we will see how long, but, he sure does seem wrapped all over my belly! He has quite a large foot (also by US), but, it seems as bigger on the ultrasound screen as Tatum and JD's do on my tattoo from when they are born! Also, they said that Conner has hair! How exciting since I have had 2 bald babies!!!! Of course, will probably all fall out, but, super excited about having a baby born with hair.

So, all in all..... good appt in Nashville this week. They want me to come back next week but, after that- I'm done!!!! Hopefully, my Dr appt here will go as well on Friday. Tatum's dance recital is Saturday and I can't wait!!! Praying for super blood pressures!

Happy Mother's Day 2009

I had an absolutely WONDERFUL Mother's DAy!!!! It started off with a headache, which made me nervous, but after 2 Tylenol at 5:45 am- and back to bed, it finally went away. So here comes a sweet little girl about 6:30 ish- happy Mothers Day Mommy! And back to bed we go!! I asked that they not go to church, since I wasn't able to go with them. I said Jesus had a mommy and if she couldn't go to church, he would stay with her too! I know, selfish of me, but, I wanted to spend all Mother's Day with the babies that I LOVE! Jeremy made me homemade waffles- and served them to me in bed! JD had already been in and loved on me and by now was taking a nap, so all 3 of us ate breakfast in bed!!! Tatum and I honestly (other than bathroom breaks) never got out of bed! We stayed there until 11- then Tay and her daddy went to get lunch. (McD's- nothing exciting). We ate lunch- and then went back to bed- we all took naps!!! (Well, some more than others- I think I slept the longest, but, we all got to rest a little bit). Jeremy got a little gift for Momma's day too- he hasn't been able to catch Conner moving and feel him- it never fails that he will be moving like crazy and as soon as Jeremy puts his hands on me, his gets still. Well, Conner had the hiccups and not only could Jeremy feel them, his hand was jumping with each little hiccup! We have a stethoscope that Tatum likes to pretend listening to Conner with and had brought it into the loving room. We thought we would try to see if we could hear Conner- you could hear a little "thump" everytime he hiccuped- Jeremy was beyond amazed!!!

We later rode a few houses down to my sisters to have mother's day supper for my momma. Grilled hamburgers and hotdogs, since that's what she wanted. It was nice to spend time with them. It was an emotional day for all 3 of us- we have all been through so much as mother's- we have all been faced with the possibility of losing a child. Being a mother is truly the most wonderful thing in the world. I am so thankful to have been blessed by this honor. You never truly realize how precious it is until you are faced with losing your child..... not an easy thing at any age.


I had such a wonderful Mother's day! I love being a Mommy! There is nothing better!

Several attempt at a family photo- we are cute regardless of how the pic turns out!

My momma, me and my sis


It was so bright outside- but-not too bad!

Me and my babies- and a big ole tummy!

35 weeks 5 days

WOW!!!!!! I will be 36 weeks pregnant on Thursday!!!! Honestly, did you really ever expect me to make it this far?? I didn't! But, I am thanking GOD every single day that he gave me this chance; this expierience; this precious baby boy growing in my tummy.....

All of us piled up on the couch- I'm pretty sure Conner was getting smooshed and was adding his elbow to the mix of Tay and JD's!
Before one of my Dr appts- My hair looked good and my kids were cute (as always)

Tatum Loves Conner! She always talks to him and never leaves without kissing him and telling him bye!

Well- this is thrown in there- Just because they are so stinkin' cute! And I love them to death!

I am about 33 weeks pregnant here- Tatum wanted to take a picture of me and Conner- she made me put my hands on my belly! A future photographer like her mommy!

So, today was my weekly appt at Maternal Fetal Group in Nashville. Honestly, it takes me longer to get there than it does to get in and out of the office. I had a really good check up this time. My Rt and Lt uternine artery pressures are still abnormal (have been since 23 weeks) but, for the first time (that I can remember) Conner's cord blood flow was NORMAL!!!!! The ultrasound tech commented several times that how great it was that it was normal since it has been abnormal in the past. Provided something fluky doesn't happen, I should be able to deliver at Hillside now! I am beyond excited to deliver at my hometown hospital; it is where Jeremy and I were both born and my employer. They have been so great to me during this pregnancy. I can honestly say I am honored to work with the people that I do- they have been some of my biggest supporters!

As far as my pregnancy, I am feeling pretty good. I'm getting to that uncomfy stage as my belly is hard as a rock- It's not smooshy and fat like it used to be! All filled in with baby Conner! I am having a flare up of carpal tunnel in my wrists- absolutely killing me! Whats worse, is that the pain is the worst at night and is keeping me from sleeping. I'm prety sure that Jeremy is soon gonna be on the couch so I can spread out in the bed!

Keep on praying! I'm sure if Conner were born now, he would be fine. Especially since they can't catch him not breathing for the entire length of the scan! Which is wonderful! I still want to keep him cooking a little longer though! Pray for all my other preggo preemie mommas- I want them to cook their babies as long as I have been able to!

The Noticer

I was lucky enough to be able to read The Noticier byAndy Andrews- even before it is released tomorrow.

This book was about a man named Jones: not MR. Jones or __Jones- Just JONES. Jones was an old man and had been old for many years, yet somehow, never seemed to age. Jones had a way of finding his way into peoples lives at the moments they needed someone most. Ironically, it was the times that people would need God most that Jones appeared. In this book, for example, it was when people were down on their luck, a divorce, someone who was thinking that their life just wasn't worth it... Jones had a suprising way of not only finding these people, but by being able to comfort these people in just the first few minutes of talking with them. By reaching such a comfort level with these people, they were much more receptive to what he had to say. While he never quoted from the Bible, there were always Biblical principles implied.

After reading The Noticer, it almost makes you wonder about the people who have been put into your life at the moments they were. How, if we all take the time, to pay attention to the situations we are in, that somehow the people we meet during those moments, good or bad, that those people could have a tremendous impact on our lives- if we are receptive. We should also take notice of the time we come into other peoples lives, as we could help them in some way too- without even knowing they need us.

I would defintely recommend The Noticer by Andy Andrews- it was such a wonderful book that pulled you in and didn't let you go. I got up the next day, wondering if Iwould meet Jones......

Sorry for the delay

I greatly apoligize that is has been over a week since I updated! Our laptop charger isn't charging the computer and I have to use my few minutes of freedom to get on the desktop. It has been an exciting week to say the least..........

On Tuesday, we had our weekly appt in Nashville at the Maternal Fetal Group. Sorry, he was hiding his face, so the only new pics I got were of his huge feet! On Ultrasound, they look to be the size of Tatum and JD's combined when they were born. His large foot is gonna look funny with my tattoo! (sorry- I digress...) Well, at this appt we got and estimated weight for Conner- boy, were we suprised when she said 4 lbs 13 oz!!!! We brought JD home from the hospital at 5 lb 3 oz- so, you can imagine our suprise. I truly thought that Jeremy was gonna fall out of his chair- he actually had her repeat it! Everything there looked good= see ya next Tuesday.

I went to the hospital Friday am for my weekly NST. Conner looks wonderful but, they questioned if I were having some contractions. Which, I have been questioning myself, but, seeing as I have never had labor, wasn't for sure. Got really nervous when my nurse, another nurse, AND my Dr came into my room while I was on the monitor. The other nurse just came to say HI, and my Dr was there, so he came and looked at my strip- don't they understand how paranoid I am?? Don't do things like that to me!!! I was sent home with my usual instructions- except this time, she told me what to do if my water broke or if I was having more abdomen tightening. Could be braxton hicks or could be contractions. Most importantly, if I thought anything was wrong DO NOT take my lovenox injection. I have to be off my bld thinner 24 hrs prior to delivery to be able to stay awake during the surgery.

After my NST, I actually had a Dr appt. Too bad he couldn't have seen me in the hopsital, would have saved me a trip. Blah, Blah, Blah, routine stuff. Told me he wasn't gonna let me off bedrest until Conner was born. I asked about attending Tatum's dance Recital on the 16th- I will be over 37 weeks- considered full term. He said that why would I want to risk anything since I was doing so good. I told him that at that point, I thought my good was good enough. I also told him I would probably go anyways. This is VERY important to me and Tatum. She would know if her momma wasn't there. I cried for about 3 hrs over that. Yesterday was a pity- poor me day!

As of Thursday, I am 34 weeks. In terms of Conner, that means lots! obviously, he is a healthy weight. The part of his brain that so many babies born prematurly get brain bleeds in has closed, almost completely eliminating chance of a brain bleed. If he were born now, he would most likely be fine- and shouldn't spend much time in the hospital, especially since I've had the steroids already. I am BEYOND thrilled to be this pregnant (excpet I am beginning to get to experience all the negatives of getting this big- but, not complaining!)

OH YEAH- I have a delivery date (as long as things continue this way) May 27th. (I will be 38 w 6 d) almost scared to tell people, as I don't want to jinx anything! Everytime I ever told anyone when my other 2 babies were coming home, they acted out in the NICU and we had to stay longer. Just please pray that we will have a May 27th baby!
(Sorry Jennifer- 25th is a Monday, and my Dr only schds deliveries on Wednesdays! Thought about ya though!)

Dr appt- almost 33 weeks!

Sorry- this isn't a new picture, but, it's still cute!

So, today is Tuesday, so that means a weekly trip to Maternal Fetal Group in Nashville. For some reason, I was so incredibly nervous for todays appointment. I'm talking, I was making a mental note of the things I wanted Jeremy to pack for me to bring to the hospital. I don't really know how to explain why I was so nervous, but.... I was....

Well, on to my appt. The Ultrasound girl brought me back and started the scan. I think we were in the Step child room that no one uses (hey- she even made the comment that no one uses that room). This machine didn't even have a printer! Anyways... I digress.... So, she is scanning and gets her measurements then turns on the monitor so that we can watch Conner on the Screen. He had been so calm until we got into the room to do the ultrasound, then he began moving and flipping! She measured Conner's cord blood flow and my right and left uterine artery bloodflows. Other than my lt uterine artery having a notch, she actually said my flows were- GOOD! That was so nice and such a relief to hear. At that point, I could exhale the breath I had been holding. So, another week down! It's crazy to think if I can stay pregnant for 3 more weeks, I can deliver at Hillside. I truly never thought I would get this far- but, I am thankful to GOD everyday that I have.

Just wanted to catch you up!

Call for Kids

Sorry it's has taken me so long to blog this- for all the people who have requested more info on the Call for Kids.

Please watch Nashville News Channel 2 this Sat, April 18th starting at 7 pm. It is the annual Call for Kids that the Ronald McDonald House has to raise money to fund the house. This year, they did a family interview with our family and there will be a segment on our family.

The Ronald McDonald House is such a wonderful organization; I truly believe that the House was a Godsend to us. Between the wonderful place and what it stood for and the staff who truly love the families, it was a Home away from Home. I cannot even begin to express my love of this house and what it has meant to me and my family over the last few years.

Please take the time to watch the Telecast this weekend- call and pledge some money if you feel compelled. Even if you aren't able to donate, you can go to the website and donate your time-rmhnashville.com

Tay is breaking my heart

I felt like this one deserved a seperate blog from my other long one! As I had blogged earlier this week, Tay wasn't sleeping well/staying in her bed. Well, Wednesday night, she didn't get up until 4:30 am, so we were thinking it was a one night flukey thing. Then, she spent the night with my momma and there were no problems there. Well, here we are- Friday night- beginning at 9:30 when we finally got her in bed. For 2 hours!! she was up and down, back and forth from her room to ours. At one point, she had come into our room for the 3 or 4th time, and Jeremy thought we would try ignoring her. She was crying soooo piitifully! I finally told Jeremy that if we kept ignoring her, I was going to cry too. It breaks my heart to hear her cry- especially when she isn't being ugly, she is truly upset. What is worse about this, is that something is bothering her, but, she, for some reason, isn't able to express what's wrong with her.

Well, here's a kicker- that makes me want to cry even now thinking about it. I think Jeremy was very hesitant to tell me this, knowing my emotional/hormonal state, but, he did and I have it on my brain. Well, one of the times that he walked her back to her room, and he tries to talk to her, reason with her why she should stay in her bed, etc. She tell him, that she doesn't want to sleep because "Mommy's on bedrest and I'm scared for her" - do you know how my heart hurt from that? How guilty I feel that she thinks I may not be here when she wakes up in the morning? (I know, she could be using it as an excuse, but, she comments on m y bedrest all the time- including mentioning that Paw Paw was on bedrest (in the nursing home) and then he died. She actually asked me if I was gonna die.)

AHHH- we are at our wits end with her and this sleeping thing! I know she wants in our bed, but, it's not gonna happen! If this continues, I guess we'lll make her a pallet on the floor and she can sleep in the floor. Any suggestions on how to deal with all of this?????

Week in Review

So, today has been a pretty good/uneventful week. Well, aside from Tatum not sleeping. As I'm typing this, I am 32 weeks 2 days pregnant!!! 32 weeks was my goal and now I have passed that. It's kinda crazy that I'm less than 2 weeks away from the Maternal Fetal Groups goal of 34 weeks. At 34 weeks, you greatly reduce the severity of effects of prematurity, also part of the brain closes us greatly decreasing the risks of brain bleeds which is so common in premature babies. I have already had the steroids that have been shown to improve lung maturity. I had my weekly ultrasound in Nashville this week for BPP and dopplers- while my dopplers are still abnormal, they are consistent and until there is a drastic change or the flow reverses in the cord, they aren't worried. I'll be back Tuesday for the same thing...I'm always hopeful there's no change, I just wish I knew what his weight was....

Had my Dr's appt in town this week. My Blood Pressure is great, My NST at the hospital was great- they said Conner looks great! I hadn't gained any weight in the last 2 weeks, but, I didn't get in trouble this time (probably because I had gained 6 lbs in 2 weeks at the last appt). BUT, with all the weight I lost in the beginning, and then I just wasnt' gaining, I have only gained 6 pounds this pregnancy! While at my appt this week, I begged and pleaded to have a 1 day pass- just for a few hours, to be able to go to Wal-mart and ride in a wheel chair. I was shot down. I was disappointed, and I understand- why risk it when things are this good. Oh yeah- almost forgot... Very strangly, the rash that was on one side of my stomach is now on the other side (switched from rt to lt) and is almost mirrored from the other one. Doesn't really bother me- just weird! Well, the Dr thinks it isn't anything pregnancy related, he thinks my skin is reacting to my daily injections... makes sense, especially since it's not anywhere else.

Tatum and JD both went to the Dr this week. Tay is actually 31 pounds! JD was 18 lbs 11 oz! They are both struggling with allergies, gotta love Tennessee weather! Tay's allergies spiraled her into a asthmatic flare that she was able to get over. JD was just snottin' and coughin' horribley and just wanted to be sure that nothing else was going on. It was all allergies, but, he had an ear infection! So, JD's on an antibiotic and started on singulair allergy med. Tatum was given an inhaler for when she gets to coughing and wheezing so bad on exertion and pulmicort breathing treatment daily. Seems there's always something around here......

Sorry this is all so long! Had a lot to say!

What time is is... now?

Last night, was to say the least a rough night for Jeremy and I. But, My heart was breaking as i felt so sorry for Tatum. Let me explain......

About 11:30 pm, about 2 hrs after Tay had gone to bed, she comes bursting into our room (we are sound asleep as well), absolutely hysterical. I think the dog may have done something to wake her up/scare her. Well, she had gotten in our bed, we calmed her down and Jeremy took her back to her bed. Which was the end of that. Or, so we thought.....

From this point on, obviously, we are in that deep sleep, so we drift right back off when she is back in here bed. Well, every few minutes, she is back- on either mine of Jeremy's side of the bed, gently rubbing our arm, sometimes calling our name. I truly lost count of how many times this happened. I know that this probably happened for about 2-3 hours. So, we would be off to sleep for afew minutes, and then woken up by a sweet, scared girl. Who knows what finally got her to stay in her room- or what was even scaring her! I defintely wanted to just cudddle her in the bed with me but..... it took us forever to get her out of our bed and tehn almost as long to get her out of our room. Don't want to start that again. Hopefully, tonight will be different. I almost wondered if she was sleep walking- but, she was quite alert to have been doing that.

So, we'll see..... Hopefully tonight will be a better night! No one got any sleep last night! (except JD who slept like a baby (ha ha) all night!

Any suggestions/ remedies for scared little girls?

Addendum: Just talked to Jeremy- all this started at 11:30 pm and Tay didn't finally stay in her bed until 4:30 am! It was a long night! (and I'm pretty sure Jeremy was up at 5 am to get ready and get the kids to Erin's) Hopefully we can all have an early bedtime!

31 weeks tomorrow

Let me begin by apologizing for not bloggin in over a week! Nothing exciting to tell! (Which, is a good thing!)

I had my weekly Maternal Fetal Group appt in Nashville yesterday (Tuesday). I had my usual ultrasound with BPP and dopplers- right off the bat- Connner passed his breathing test- he breathed for the entire Ultrasound scan- never stopping! Way to go Conner!!! His estimated weight was 1514 grams- (to all my fellow preemie mommas- you will understand how excited I was to know that I had a baby big enough in my belly to be born and be able to wear clothes when he is born!). I was able to figure up in weight what he weighed because 1500 grams is big enough to wear clothes and that = 3 lbs 5 oz! (Well, it's actually probably 3 lbs 5.4 oz, but, the computer rounds to an equal number). His head measures bigger than his gestational age and his belly and femurs measure slightly smaller than his GA; but, given my history and the fact that my kids are still small, he won't be a whopper baby regardless of how long I carry him. He's already bigger than Tatum and JD were combined! It's a very weird thing to wrap my head around. It is also a very weired feeling in my tummy, as I've never had a baby this big and am expierencing a lot of things for the first time!

I also got to talk to the Dr yesterday. I have a strange rash on one side of my tummy, and Dr. Gists office wanted me to have them look at it since Iwould be there. They think it may be a pregnancy rash, but, it doesn't really look like a typical rash they see. Said it could be the beginning of PUPPS (which is a pregnancy rash that appears in 3rd trimester and itches like crazy with no relief, usually pops up in stretch marks.) Mine itches every now and then but not often. Have been putting hydrocortisone cream on it and taking benadryl. Dr. Lindzee at Mat Fet said she wasn't worried about it and that I was being watched so closely that if it were to cause any problem, we would catch it. She also remarked at how GREAT Conner looked and how well I was doing. She said she was really pleased with my pregnancy.

My first goal was to get past 28 weeks- I am now 3 weeks past that. My next goal was 34 weeks and I am only 3 weeks from that. I have said the whole time I was Due in June but, hoping for May- I am only 30 days from that now. I am so hopeful for that now. In the beginning, I would have never thought I would have been able to have done this. Maybe this HORRIBLE bedrest or nightly shots have really made the difference for me and Conner. I am also beginning to see/learn alot of the things that I have been missing- Everyone told me that God gave me Conner for a reason- it sometimes takes something like this- completely unexpected and out of the blue- to teach you many things. I have definetly learned how to pray again........


On to my other two sweet babies! They are both being plauged by allergies! Gotta love this time of year and weather changes. JD seems to be handling it all pretty well. Tatum on the other hand, has begun having her Asthma flare ups. UGH- I am predicting by the end of the week having her in the Dr's. This am she can't do anything for coughing! I think we are gonna need an inhaler for times like this- she isn't gonna be able to do anything outside if we can't manage this. She can play for a few minutes until she begins coughing so badly that she can't catch her breath. We did a breathing treatment this am that helped for about an hour. And both kids have snot covered faces- which means mommy has snot covered shoulders! Love them both!


Hope you enjoyed this LONG blog!

4D ultrasound at Hillside/ updates

So sweet with his arms folded in front of his face

He managed to get his arms and both legs in this one!

Today was a very good day for Jeremy and I. We had a complete Ultrasound at Hillside (where I work) and they were able to get some really good 4D pictures of Conner. He defintely made Sheela work for these pictures though! He had his arms on or around his face the entire time! We were about to give up when he moved just a little and we captured some wonderful pics of Conner Dean. It is amazing the detail that you can see on these images- and amazing how much he looks like Tatum! He has chubby cheeks and a little pug nose!

Tatum is such a sweet little girl! She is so excited to have another baby brother- she says Conner is going to be Fat- and that it's ok for her to call Conner fat. She tells him every night before bed that she loves him and to stay in there a long long time. She has such a precious heart- and she makes me smile with the things she says. She is a mommy's girl- I hope she always loves me this much.

JD is still our little puppy dog! You will rarely find him without something in his mouth! He is so silly though! He has 3 teeth and will gladly let you see how they feel- he likes to bite! He still isn't walking; he is lacking some confidence still. He is starting to stand on his own a little- but, then he realizes what he's doing and plops on his booty. Last weight check- he was 17 lbs 10 oz; a petite little boy!

Landon had a good checkup at the Cardiologists. They aren't concerned about his PDA and don't need to see him until next year. Last weight check for him was 17 lbs 13 oz (he is 6 months younger than JD). He is very vocal and has the sweetest little chipmunk giggle! He loves his Aunt Lu Lu!

Continue to pray for us! Bedrest is mentally exhausting on me and Jeremy too, I'm sure. I'm not always in the best of moods- Imagine that!?

OH yeah! How could I forget?? Conner's Estimated weight- (and by the way, he is measuring LARGER than his dates)- 3 pounds!!!!! That's huge to me and Jeremy!